swarbles.

a mostly goodhearted twentyeight year old lady who lives in a land where it's winter half the year. starlings nest in the soffit along the side of my house and mourning doves roost under the roof above of my door stoop. i fall in love all the time.

points of interest;
swarbles songs; songs i have recorded.
mariaface; a photo of my face for every day of twothousandandtwelve.
end thoughts; the thoughts one has at the end of the day.
things i made; self explanatory.

Posts I Like
Posts tagged "face photos"
flickering blue light.

flickering blue light.

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sleepy things.  i would like to be able to stay up later, but i like sleeping so much.

sleepy things.  i would like to be able to stay up later, but i like sleeping so much.

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how badly do i wish i had somebody to care about and for me tonight? almost as badly as i would like to be a cornet/trumpet/flugelhorn or otter or any of the hundreds of other things i would rather be. everything is exhausting.  my whole existence is exhausting and it shouldn’t be but it is. i don’t know anything about anything.

how badly do i wish i had somebody to care about and for me tonight?

almost as badly as i would like to be a cornet/trumpet/flugelhorn or otter or any of the hundreds of other things i would rather be.

everything is exhausting.  my whole existence is exhausting and it shouldn’t be but it is.

i don’t know anything about anything.

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some otters are endlessly sleepy.

some otters are endlessly sleepy.

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i am quite sleepy and have another wicked fierce headache again tonight.  i have a feeling these headaches are allergy related, but i can’t prove it because i don’t know how one would go about proving such a thing.  and i couldn’t find my allergy medication in my purse today and i’m not sure where it went (i only had one left in the bottle, and i do have a brand new bottle, but i don’t like to waste things when i’m wicked poor).  and i only just now realized that the christmas lights behind me have completely burned out (they’ve been half burnt out for a month or so) and i’m too sleepy to go digging through the closet to find a replacement for them tonight.  this week has been rough.  i know i just listed two small, inconsequential, trite things, but they are just two things out of many things that are difficult (the $1000 in bills that i really should pay before next thursday, the slowness at work, how absolutely crushingly lonely i have been feeling).  there have been a lot of things so far this year, and they have all felt too rough. it would be nice for something nice to happen soon.

i am quite sleepy and have another wicked fierce headache again tonight.  i have a feeling these headaches are allergy related, but i can’t prove it because i don’t know how one would go about proving such a thing.  and i couldn’t find my allergy medication in my purse today and i’m not sure where it went (i only had one left in the bottle, and i do have a brand new bottle, but i don’t like to waste things when i’m wicked poor).  and i only just now realized that the christmas lights behind me have completely burned out (they’ve been half burnt out for a month or so) and i’m too sleepy to go digging through the closet to find a replacement for them tonight.  this week has been rough.  i know i just listed two small, inconsequential, trite things, but they are just two things out of many things that are difficult (the $1000 in bills that i really should pay before next thursday, the slowness at work, how absolutely crushingly lonely i have been feeling).  there have been a lot of things so far this year, and they have all felt too rough.

it would be nice for something nice to happen soon.

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i put my hair up immediately after i showered, and then forgot that i had done such a thing, so it’s still half wet.  i will now go to sleep like this and document the subsequent bedhead sleeping on wet hair will yield in the morning. eugene mirman is doing a show two hours from here tomorrow night and i am probably going to be unable to go, unless somebody buys something at work tomorrow during the day (but probably not even then, since i still have $1000 worth of bills that need to go out before the end of the month).  sometimes i don’t like much of anything (but i do enjoy sleeping, and dreaming about the deer.  but i miss him and it makes things hard.  he is the most impossible person i have cared about in a very long time).  i feel like i’ve been in a rut of not liking much of anything for a while now, so it’s pretty much the norm, but still really disappointing. speaking of not liking anything, i’m still being really awful at tumblr.  have i missed any posts that i should be aware of?

i put my hair up immediately after i showered, and then forgot that i had done such a thing, so it’s still half wet.  i will now go to sleep like this and document the subsequent bedhead sleeping on wet hair will yield in the morning.

eugene mirman is doing a show two hours from here tomorrow night and i am probably going to be unable to go, unless somebody buys something at work tomorrow during the day (but probably not even then, since i still have $1000 worth of bills that need to go out before the end of the month).  sometimes i don’t like much of anything (but i do enjoy sleeping, and dreaming about the deer.  but i miss him and it makes things hard.  he is the most impossible person i have cared about in a very long time).  i feel like i’ve been in a rut of not liking much of anything for a while now, so it’s pretty much the norm, but still really disappointing.

speaking of not liking anything, i’m still being really awful at tumblr.  have i missed any posts that i should be aware of?

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i have a very unpleasant headache and i had wonderful dreams about the deer all night last night, so i’m going to bed early in hopes of ending the very unpleasant headache and having similarly wonderful dreams about the deer again tonight. i started work on another song before the massive headache came to visit, so that makes three non-hoursong songs that i’ve come up with the basic chord structures for this month.  i should gather up all ye unfinished songfellows (there are at least two, if not three, from last year as well, plus anything that i have started and not done anything with this year [there are maybe two of those as well], plus hoursongs that could be completely reworked into better things) and finish them.  they all need lyrics. okay.  goodnight.

i have a very unpleasant headache and i had wonderful dreams about the deer all night last night, so i’m going to bed early in hopes of ending the very unpleasant headache and having similarly wonderful dreams about the deer again tonight.

i started work on another song before the massive headache came to visit, so that makes three non-hoursong songs that i’ve come up with the basic chord structures for this month.  i should gather up all ye unfinished songfellows (there are at least two, if not three, from last year as well, plus anything that i have started and not done anything with this year [there are maybe two of those as well], plus hoursongs that could be completely reworked into better things) and finish them.  they all need lyrics.

okay.  goodnight.

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little notebook is complete (although i would like to find a bead or something for the bookmark), and part of the postal code on my cellphone bill says DAMN.

i went to target and the old woman at the cash register (isn’t that a pearl jam song?) was distracted by a price check she had called about for another customer and she didn’t give me one of my bags and of course it was the bag with my groceries in it, so now i’m kind of strapped for dinner food for the first half of the week, and i’ve been feeling particularly misanthropic lately, so i didn’t call or go back to the store.  i’ll probably eat a lot of rice.  and i do have a brick of tempeh and a thing of tofu i bought in order to try a new recipe for “tofu fries.” tofu and i have yet to find our happy place.  i like it when other people prepare it, but everytime i do it, it comes out real bad.  everytime i buy it, i think “this time will be different” and it never is.  but maybe this time will be different.

and we didn’t get paid on friday.  but i managed to buy new brake pads and oil, so my father can perform some much overdue car maintenance for me this week (i should have had my oil changed ten thousand miles ago, but having car maintenance done in the winter is the pits, and i am always good about adding oil when the little light comes on), so at least my car will be back up to reasonably alright longer distance driving conditions for the summer months, and hopefully i will be able to get out of this state sometime soon to visit my rabbit friend.  i haven’t been anywhere south of rockland since september.  i haven’t seen any of my friends since the first day of october, and the friends i saw that day have not expressed any interest in seeing me, so in actuality, i haven’t seen any of my friends since september as well.

i really want it to be the middle of next month so i have a reason to email the deer.  i could probably email him about the thing i am planning on emailing him about now, but i am afraid he will forget if i email him too early, and i don’t want him to forget.

</vagueness>

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this cat has been very friendly recently. I DIDN&#8217;T GO ANYWHERE TODAY.  it was awesome.  leaving the house is overrated. i&#8217;m a pretty good hermit.  

this cat has been very friendly recently.

I DIDN’T GO ANYWHERE TODAY.  it was awesome.  leaving the house is overrated.

i’m a pretty good hermit.  

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