i started to write an end thoughts, but there’s nothing more depressing than writing a list of all the things that are currently wrong and awful, so i stopped. i really need to be making things and opening a shop on etsy in order to have some sort of supplemental income right now, but i am so upset and depressed about things that i only want to watch gilmore girls and color and go to sleep. and i only just brought up my coloring books, so that basically just means i’ve been watching gilmore girls and sleeping, which is true.
when the end thoughts do happen (it is as impending as the end of the world), i’ll probably make it a private thing that i’ll have to distribute direct links to because things are THAT BAD.
at any rate, i’ve felt like garbage all day today (i’ve been weirdly borderline fevery and achy, and my body is wrecked from this project that we’re doing that involves cutting a lot of large sheets of aluminum into smaller pieces of aluminum [i’ve cut over 200 pieces so far, and i’ve got another 200 to go before we’re done] and also bending about half of them them on a 10’ long sheet metal brake), so i’m going to go bury myself in blankets and hopefully have some nice dreams about deer. i think of him often and it’s a bittersweet sort of thing, but dreams are okay because they are some sort of alternate dimension’s reality or something. okay.