swarbles.

i’m going to start putting these behind “read more” cuts because they are generally longwinded and weird.

parts of my job that i don’t like

• sprayfoaming panels in general, but i particularly dislike it when i’m sprayfoaming panels and i am not wearing gloves (i usually wear gloves.  sometimes i forget though) and the sprayfoam gets on my hands and i don’t get to the denatured alcohol or acetone in time and then my hands look dirty for days and days afterwards, even though they are actually clean.
• i get bruises.  all the time.  i have a massive bruise on my foot from when i bashed it against a piece of steel the other day.  my knees are in a perpetual state of bruised from having to kneel on the floor when i sprayfoam.  i have one on the back of my leg, and i am not sure where it even came from.
• all of my clothes get ruined.  all of them.  i have no nice clothing, except for a pair of jeans that i refuse to wear to work and a few skirts that i can’t wear to work because i’m doing manual labor.
• my hands are always dry and are usually covered in cuts.
• sometimes things get really slow and this makes me nervous because i like getting paid and when things get slow, sometimes we don’t get paid on time or in full and it’s just bad.  it’s been really slow this week.  we’re getting paid tomorrow, but if someone doesn’t buy something within the next week, things are going to be troublesome again.

but really, i generally like it.  i like working with my family, i like that my dad gives me time off to do weird things (even if it’s at the last minute), i like that we get along well, i like doing the weird, monotonous things that i do.  but those things just bum me out.

i took a nap in front of the woodstove at work while sitting in an old chair from our dining room when we were kids and living on center street.  it was sort of strange, to be aware that i was sitting in a chair i used to sit in when i was a little kid, when i would put milk in my salads (true story; our salads consisted of iceberg lettuce and cubes of cheese, and i always put french dressing on mine and poured milk in it???  i don’t know, i was a weird kid.  i also loved getting ice cream floats from giffords that consisted of peppermint stick ice cream in orange soda), and now twenty years later, i was taking a nap in that same chair in front of a woodstove at work.

i had to buy new pants this week.  work pants, but also some jeans.  flannel lined jeans.  i am so excited to not have to wear jeans with thermal man-pants on underneath them this winter.

i’m supposed to go to a wedding ceremony this weekend for two friends of mine.  they got married in february (i think), but they want to have a churchy wedding with friends and extended family, andso they are having it this weekend.  but the thing is, i don’t have anything to wear.  so i have to buy a dress.  and appropriate shoes (i’m going to guess that worn in, turquoise chuck taylors that are covered in writing would be deemed inappropriate shoes to wear to a baptist church).  and give them a wedding present (fyi, i always give money, so if you’re looking for $50, invite me to your wedding).  but things are really slow at work, and i’m worried about having to make tomorrow’s paycheck last two weeks, andso i don’t know that i should go.  especially considering that i also have to get pellets because it is going to start getting colder and colder.

speaking of words that rhyme with music tapes lyrics (“getting colder and colder,” “grow older and older”) (what kind of transition is that?  a wicked bad one), i was rewatching that nice video of spare the dark streets that gonzo chicago uploaded tonight, and i have always clearly heard the lyrics of this song, i have heard this song so many times, but only tonight did i actually realize the lyrics to the second verse are something sounding sort of like this.

all the railroads rolled inside 

soon their steam fills all your eyes (fells o’er your eyes?)

if you have been paying attention, you will understand why this has me weirded out.  it is probably nothing, it is probably just.  probably just.

but the thing is, the first dream happened before i had ever even heard spare the dark streets.  i might’ve had it before that song was even a song.  so.  it’s just.

it’s hard for me because i don’t believe in coincidence.  i am a jerk that likes to not believe in coincidence because it’s nice to think sometimes.  you know.

sometimes.

i am still working on that song i last mentioned.  it is becoming really questionable, but in a nice sort of way.  i am obsessed with songs in 3/4 time.  why this song has a time signature before it even has any sort of real structure, i don’t know, but it does, so okay.

today there were two seagulls walking about in the rain, looking for worms.  they were sweet funny things.

i am going to bed now.  i have been wanting to go to bed early for the past week and a half, but it kept not happening, but it is happening now.